This article conducts a discourse analysis related to intellectual property gathered from digital piracy communities. By conducting a quantitative analysis of qualitative data, “Piracy Ahoy!” renders an account of the piratical subject by exploring what Andersson Schwarz calls “specimens of reasoning” concerning intellectual property and piracy. Varying attitudes toward intellectual property are produced from the data. The outputs of this analysis challenge mainstream articulations of piratical motivations, drawing attention to the complex and often contradictory attitudes that pirates evince with respect to intellectual property. Attention is paid to attitudes that convey support of and resistance to intellectual property on technological, social, and economic grounds.